NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
