yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
