I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I am naked and annoyed.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
