I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
