i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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