Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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