TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
try to milk me bitch
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