I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't deserve a penis
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
