I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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