10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
