Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's rum buckets o'clock
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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