OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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