Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
