maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
