I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
