i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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