It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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