I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
