Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
