he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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