Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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