Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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