i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
