I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
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