my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
