Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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