Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
