Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
