Soap is not a condiment
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
