last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
