The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
