It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
