I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
