I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
