I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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