i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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