I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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