just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
