Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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