It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Still dying that you shit outside
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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