she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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