I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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