Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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