it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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