call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
