just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
