Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
