You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
