So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
