Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
