did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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